Database Functions
ELI5 — The Vibe Check
Instead of doing math in your application code and sending results to the database, Database Functions let the database do its own math. It's like telling the chef 'just cook it however you want' instead of giving step-by-step instructions from the dining room. The data never leaves the kitchen.
Real Talk
Stored routines defined within the database engine (stored procedures, user-defined functions, triggers) that execute logic directly on the database server. They reduce network round-trips, enforce business logic at the data layer, and can be triggered automatically on data changes.
When You'll Hear This
"Our PostgreSQL function calculates running totals server-side — 100x faster than fetching all rows." / "Database triggers automatically update the audit log whenever a row changes."
Related Terms
Database Trigger
A database trigger is an automatic response to data changes. Insert a row? The trigger fires. Update a column? The trigger fires.
Edge Database
What if your database was everywhere, like coffee shops? Edge Databases put copies of your data at the edge of the network — close to users — so reads are
Stored Procedure
A stored procedure is a named program you write in SQL (and sometimes a procedural language) that lives inside the database.